(An idea for the next book/film deal, perhaps?)
She tried, but could not forget his lustrous beak or the wild, alien stare of his gigantic eyes. Where had they come from, these strange new sensations that seized her, seized her with sudden force like his powerful tentacles? She tried to keep her head above the water of her feelings, but knew she was drowning. This driving urge, this reckless desire, this... need to wreak carnage on the shipping lanes of the Atlantic. She heard the sound of racing blood in her ears, and it sounded like the crash of the sea.(Sample paragraph from Beneath the Surface, a heart-warming tale of love and giant sea monsters. "Kraken Cheese, Gromit" was the back-up title I had in mind.)
His face was desiccated and decayed, but his bandages were soft, like smooth skin against hers. There was something in his eyes older than the Pyramids; she dared to hope that it was love, and not just ageless soul-devouring evil. She heard him call her name with each broken, sepulchral groan that rumbled out of his throat. Those once-muscular arms that Time had ravaged still had power - the power to thrill her.(Sample paragraph from Cursed Love, vol 1: Wrapped in Your Arms. You know, this just gets easier and easier. I think I'm tapping into my inner slashfic writer.)
She was starting to wish she'd never come on this monster hunt. Lou was such a chump. It had been easy at first to love his bewildered spluttering and comical double-takes, but his clean-cut image soon palled and boy, was she tired of his "Who's On Top?" routine! Alas, poor dumb Lou thought he'd worked out who was his rival for her affections, but it wasn't the Invisible Man she'd fallen for - it was all-too-visible Bud.(Sample paragraph from Abbot and Costello Meet an Impressionable Young Woman.)
More may yet follow, unless fifty thousand in used notes is deposited at this address...
(...is "skittery" the right word? Hmm...)