Saturday, December 30, 2006

The Runaway Bride: Redux

What's this? The only computer in the Toon household, relocated to my old bedroom? With me sleeping there for five nights? With my reputation? Has no one considered the consequences?

Oh well, festive blogging it is, then.

Doctor Who: The Runaway Bride: Redux
starring Dalek Sec as the Blaxploitation Dalek

Whooooo is the Dalek
That's a Sec machine to all the Daleks?
Sec! Ya damn right...

Bedfordshire, Earth - 2167 AD
DALEK: Pe-ne-tra-tion of the Earth's mantle in ten rels.
BLACK DALEK: Hot dang ba-by, I've been wai-tin' three years for this. We're go-nna get our-selves a pla-net sized ride! Crui-sin' 'round the galaxy on a whole mu-tha-**-****' world! The chicks will cream!
DALEK: Five rels... four... three... two... one...
BD: Ding?
D: Sound e-ffect con-firmed.
BD: Well, what the hell does that mean, "Ding"?
D: Sen-sors in-di-cate Da-lek drill has come to rest a-gainst a ma-nu-fac-tured ob-ject.
BD: At the Earth's core?
D: It is the Earth's core.
BD: Whoa ba-by, where's the mol-ten i-ron and shit? We ain't ex-pec-tin' a ma-nu-fac-tured core, are we? I thought you told me this world had vol-ca-nic ac-ti-vi-ty?
D: Da-ta re-tur-ning... It is a space ve-ssel. It o-ccu-pies the full vo-lume of the pla-net's core, de-spite its awk-ward star like shape.
BD: Mu-tha-**-****!
D: There are also se-ve-ral a-rach-nid corp-ses.
BD: Da-mmit, if there's a space-ship al-rea-dy down there, we did-n't need to blow our mo-ney on that damn big en-gine!
D: We could take it back to the shop, Da-lek Sec.
BD: Hold it... did you keep the re-ceipt?
D:, Da-lek Sec.
BD: Go-da-mmit, we can't e-ven get a re-fund!
D: I a-po-lo-gise, Da-lek Sec.
BD: Aw, I can't stay mad at you, sweet pseu-do-pods. It's O-K su-gar, I'll just ex-ter-mi-nate the ma-na-ger.

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